A working rule of anthropology is that the most important aspect to examine about a society are the things it takes for granted. We take flattery for granted. We assume that it has always been with us and that it always will be.

Let me posit a brief working definition. Flattery is strategic praise, praise with a purpose. It may be inflated or exaggerated or it may be accurate and truthful, but it is praise that seeks result, whether it be increased liking or an office with a window.

Social stability depends on a certain amount of deception. We have to prepare a face to meet the faces that we meet. "At every level," wrote the philosopher George Steiner, "the linguistic capacity to conceal, misinform, leave ambiguous, hypothesize and invent is indispensable to the equilibrium of human consciousness and the development of man in society." Flattery oils the machine of everyday life.

There are many useful analogies for flattery. Flattery is a kind of propaganda in which the information is, as historian Daniel Boorstin said, "intentionally biased." Like propaganda, it is information that depends on an emotional appeal that we want to believe. Flattery is also a kind of bribe, an emotional gratuity that we accept and which very often repays the giver with something they want. Flattery is also a kind of mask, a mask that protects and enhances the flatterer in the guise of enhancing the person being flattered.