intimacy

Remembering Normal

U C me. I C U. Hmm. Sort of. Well, not really.

Vera toasting a beautiful day

As my central vision has degenerated over the past six years, I have been adapting to accommodate my limitations. For example, watching television, shaving, reading email and clipping my fingernails. These all require workarounds.

When having a conversation at a normal distance, I don’t see the other persons face. There is just a gray blur above their neck. To see their facial features, I look to the right and down, just above their shoulder.  That is my peripheral strong spot. Even though I don’t see their expression, by looking towards their face, I assume that they are unaware of my deception. For them, everything is “Normal.” This is just one technique I have developed to limit being “different”.

Or so I thought until last night when I had a conversation with my wife at the dinner table. She said she misses eye contact with me. I was stunned. It may not be as obvious to others, but with her, my work-around is a FAIL! 

Merde! Social interaction and non-verbal communication by eye contact is becoming just a memory. More critically, it is essential to intimacy. I am being deprived but didn’t realize it because this has happened so gradually. Writing about it here, I realize how much I miss it. 👁️